We all want something — a bigger house, more money, a promotion, or more clients. It would seem logical then that we should focus on the objects of our desires. And yet, in all the years of working with my clients, I’ve realized that most people unconsciously focus on what they don’t want.
Let me illustrate this point using a concept of relationships which every one of us has been in at some point in our lives.
If you didn’t like the last person you dated, upon successful (or not so successful) exit from that “bondage,” you would most likely say:
“All hell will break loose before I date another guy (or woman) like that!”
Now that’s a strong statement!
Hell aside, your focus is clearly on the attributes of your partner that did NOT work for you. Not surprisingly, most people will end up in bed, figuratively and literally, with the same kind of schmuck.
For those of you in America that don’t know what a shmuck is, the Merriam Webster dictionary defines it essentially as… a jackass.
So what’s the big deal about not wanting another schmuck?
I bet you’re wondering… while simultaneously running a list of your top past jackass / prick / jerk titleholders in your mind. Caught you in the act!
Now that I busted you, let me explain.
Most of you have heard about the Law of Attraction (unless you’ve been living on Mars for the last few decades — my articles don’t get there, yet… for now. Stay tuned for updates).
Put it simply, the Law of Attraction says that what you put out is what you get back.
The Universe hears your thoughts and brings you exactly what you ask for on a platter. It really works. Pinky swear!
The problem is that the darn Universe does not speak good English. It can’t differentiate between “I do” and “I don’t.” There must be a glitch in the system, but since there isn’t a patch that can fix it, let’s try to work with what we’ve got.
It means that if you’re complaining about your last guy being withdrawn or your last woman to be a nagger, you’re literally begging the Universe for another rerun of your “Ball and Chain” hit.
Your focus dictates what you manifest in your life.
If you want a different partner, focus on qualities that you desire. That means things you actually do like.
I can hear you say: “This is great Dagmar, BUT I’m not looking for a romantic partner.”
I hear you!
By now, most of you have already been married, divorced, widowed, re-singled, and whatever else exists in the English vocabulary to summarize your relationship status as… complicated.
The thing about business is that it’s no different from your dating world.
If you want more clients, don’t focus on the fact that you don’t have any, it’s difficult to find them, or that you don’t know how to get more.
Focus on the end results — the sweet sound of kaching as the cash flows into your checking account.
I realize that if you’re getting a message from your bank that your balance is super low, it might be excruciatingly hard to imagine yourself as a millionaire.
However, if you can let go of where you are now and focus your mind on where you’re going, then money will magically start appearing in your life. Unexpected sources of income will show up, new clients will turn up from referrals, and brilliant ideas for growing your business will pop up like a rabbit from Houdini’s hat.
Think of it as driving a car.
To get to a new destination, you have to plug in the end address in your GPS. You don’t program your current location because that would keep your car exactly where it is now.
Once the car is moving, you focus on where you’re going.
The GPS keeps rerouting you, even if you hit a roadblock or take a wrong turn. It finds another way to put you back on track.
While you’re driving, you’re not worried about where you are now in this moment, because the wheels are spinning and there is no way to move forward while looking into the rear-view mirror.
As you set out to accomplish your goals this month, make sure you have the right address programmed into your GPS, and keep rerouting your mind to that destination until you get there.
Look out the windshield, my friend. It’s the only way to get to what you want.
Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success
