Over the last four months, I have been remodeling my home. It’s been a painful experience. Three contractors to finish the job… two of them bullies… delays… a lawyer… a pending lawsuit.
But this story is not about the horrors of remodeling, although it’s tied to it.
After a torturous journey of fixing the water damage and rebuilding my place, I finally moved back. It seemed the challenges were over. It was going to be smooth sailing from now on, or so I imagined.
But as I was unpacking my boxes, I realized they were full of things that, in the past, I believed I needed. These items represented who I was and who I thought I wanted to be.
My clothes showed off my style. My art and numerous artifacts from around the world reminded me of my travels. Even the color scheme throughout my home was selected to enhance my energy.
And yet, I no longer resonated with any of that.
The colors of my curtains seemed appalling to me. I didn’t like my clothes. I didn’t hang my art.
I looked at all the items I hadn’t used in months and wondered why I even had them.
As I sorted through all this stuff, I realized that I’d changed over the last four months. I simply haven’t caught up with the new me.
I had to ask myself: Do I keep those things because they represent who I’ve always been or do I let them go, so I can become who I want to be next?
Letting go is never easy. It means allowing a part of you to die, so that a new side of you can be born.
In shamanism, the concept of death is tied to rebirth. A phoenix rises from the ashes. Crows eat off your wounds so new tissue can be regrown. A snake sheds its old skin so it can build a new skeleton with room for growth.
I always wonder: How does the snake know it’s time to slough its skin?
How do I know that my PRESENT has already moved into my PAST?
What are the signs of this shift?
Perhaps we must discard things that represent our past in order to embrace a new beginning.
At first, I was fighting this change.
I left some things packed in the boxes, hoping there might be a use for them in the future. They represented who I used to be, and I was very attached to that concept.
I felt I was losing part of me by letting go.
All these hopes, dreams, goals that might never be realized… Was it OK to give them up or should I keep hanging on to them, like the New Year’s resolutions that people hope to achieve year after year with meager results?
As I examined and discarded the vestiges of my past, I felt uncomfortable… unsure… insecure… emotionally drained… even slightly depressed.
I was grieving and mourning the loss of who I used to be.
After all, the part of me was disappearing. It was dissolving… morphing into something different.
I didn’t know what that would look like or what I wanted instead, but I knew I had to allow this to happen.
I had to allow myself to discover new possibilities despite all the discomfort, confusion, and uncertainty.
I had to allow these feelings because I wondered…
What if who I was becoming was better than who I used to be?
There is hope for what can come through a newly opened window. Yearning for a breeze of fresh air. Something different and exciting.
What would you be willing to let go of to invite a new experience?
You may be wondering why it is so darn hard to release the tight grip on who you think you are. The answer is simple: an allure of protection and validation that derives from perpetuating old behaviors.
They might not be getting us the results we want, but at least we know what to expect. There’s comfort in that, isn’t there?
You may occasionally want some changes in your life, but no one is seeking revolution or upheaval.
And yet if you always look through the same window, there’s only one landscape you can see.
Would you be open to a different view?
Perhaps by latching on to the possibility of a new experience and by looking into the unknown with enthusiasm for better things to come, it can be easier to dispose of the concepts of the past, including its anchors.
The stuff you keep in the drawers… the clothes you wear… the car you drive… They are all external projections of your inner world that are supposed to keep you safe.
Sometimes they just keep you stale.
You might not be ready for a 180-degree change, but what would just a five-degree shift offer to your life?
It’s exhausting to shutter your own routine. It’s unnerving to dismantle mistaken perceptions of stability achieved through repetition of the same outcomes in one’s life.
But it’s also exhilarating to welcome something different.
It’s invigorating to ask: Who was I? Who can I be next?
I invite you to open the door to a new opportunity.
Start by decluttering. Give away what you no longer want or need.
If it’s hard to dispose of old things, just imagine releasing them as an act of gifting to somebody else. Bless the people who will wear your clothes. Bless those who will use your appliances or furniture.
Energy is in a perpetual dance, ready to flow in the new direction.
Like a tidal wave, it wants to come into your life for enjoyment and when it’s time to go it retreats back into the ocean.
Allow this ebb and flow to be the rhythm of your life and discard that which no longer serves you.
Let’s ride this wave together!
Are you ready?
To amazing new YOU,
Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success
