Category: Dagmar Fleming

“What is it that you want?” asked my friend Suzy when we talked about what’s next for me after the pandemic lockdown.

“I want to help more people heal their past hurts so they can step into what’s possible for them.”

“I want to come out of “hiding” and have a bigger impact.”

As I said it, I thought about all that I have gone through in my life that led me to this very moment.

All the ups and downs… joys and sorrows… victories and defeats… the experiences that shaped who I am today.

“You’re like a caterpillar that is trying to break through the cocoon,” replied Suzy. “It may seem hard, but it isn’t.”

It made me realize…

The act of birthing is not a struggle.

When a caterpillar tries to break through the cocoon and pushes through a small hole in its walls, all it sees is a gate to freedom — an opening to a new, grander version of itself.

It’s a new beginning filled with hope, excitement and exploration of what’s next in its evolution.

The caterpillar’s life inside the cocoon is not a struggle.

It’s just a preparatory stage for what is about to come when it morphs into a butterfly.

It made me think about my life…

Most of my life, I’ve been hooked on a program of struggle. Having been raised in Poland, an ex-communist country, struggle was deeply encoded in my psyche. It was accepted as a norm.

When I came to the US, I realized that a concept of struggle was an international addiction.

In America, it was just phrased differently. “Work hard and the success will follow.”

But hard implies hardship. In essence, it means struggle.

As I was listening to Suzy talking about a caterpillar, I recognized its innate desire to transform — to become a butterfly. I got to appreciate how patiently the caterpillar waits inside the cocoon as it is being prepared for the transition into what it is about to become.

In that moment I understood that all experiences that I had had in my life weren’t really a struggle.

They were simply a playground in which I was evolving, learning how to fly… how to spread my wings… how to step into the next stage of my own evolution.

In the midst of the coronavirus crisis, we’re all being forced to evolve.

You may feel like a caterpillar trying to spread your wings within the confinement of your cocoon. You may be fighting the walls that surround you so you can emerge out of your standstill and succeed.

Is it possible that you’re not locked inside?

Perhaps you are simply being prepared and incentivized to transform who you are now, so that you can become the new, bigger, and more exquisite version of yourself.

As you feel yourself move through the tiny hole in your cocoon, it looks like you’re struggling but you are not. You are in the process of metamorphosis. You’re rebirthing yourself into a new level of wisdom and empowerment.

You’ve been preparing for this exact moment for a long time.

When you release the concept of struggle, you’ll see your past as a preparatory stage — a momentary experience in your evolution.

And when you look back at your life, you may realize that all your experiences with their perceived stagnation, defeats or lack of results were simply preparing you for this exact moment.

You’ve been expanding who you are.

It was not a struggle.

It was an elementary school of life, followed by a middle school and a high school… until this moment of graduation when it’s time to break through the cocoon and, as Suzy said, “Leave the place of liquid comfort into a new space of beauty and grace.”

Everything you’ve always wanted and waited for is NOT inside the cocoon. It’s outside its walls.

It’s time to spread your wings, dry them off, and fly onto a bigger stage.

This is your graduation.

Claim it!

Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success

P.S. Are you ready to fly? Learn what’s holding you back and how to overcome it by signing up for the Rapid Breakthrough Session with me. Reserve your spot here.

You’re worried.

I get it.

Will I get sick? Will my family be safe?

Will the economy collapse?

Where will the money come from?

Will my business survive?

How will I get my clients?

What will I do next?

Does this mean the end of my business?

I was there. Back in 2013. No global pandemic required.

I was running my global business consulting firm with lots of monetary success until one day I realized…

I suddenly had no clients.

Old projects ended and there were no new ones to start.

I couldn’t understand why so I had to pause and reflect on what was happening.

It turned out that I was the problem.

I felt unhappy and I didn’t even know why.

Contracts would come to me easily through referrals. I had lots of money for my needs.

But I couldn’t handle my own success, so I started sabotaging my business.

I didn’t follow up with prospects.

I spent money on attending trade shows and conferences to generate new leads, but I made sure to never follow up with prospects. Heck, if they asked to work with me, I would “magically” disappear.

This was going on because the true war was raging in my mind.

I was infected with the virus of unworthiness.

I was fighting myself.

I felt uncomfortable with my own growth and financial comfort.

Today, you might think that your situation is different from mine. This global pandemic sprang on so many people unexpectedly, despite their highest ambitions and efforts to move forward.

But what we have in common is that feeling of desperation… not knowing why we are standing on the precipice of a potential collapse… wondering if we’re going to fall.

I’m here to tell you…

You will not fall.

Back in 2013, when I stared at my increasingly empty checking account, I made a decision.

I was going to figure this out.

I was going to understand why I doubted myself; why I doubted my own ability to succeed when all the years of experience and a solid track record of success were staring at my face.

I realized then that the childhood beliefs embedded in me when I was growing up in the communist Poland – being humble, keeping your head down, accepting lack, poverty, and mediocre results – all of that disempowerment was looping continuously in my head, causing me to sabotage my own success.

But I didn’t let it bring me down.

I spend months releasing the memories of the past and reprogramming my brain to create a new powerful set of beliefs.

I said to myself:

I can rely on me.
I can count on me.
I can rise to any occasion in my life.
I can conquer my fears.
I can heal my feelings of unworthiness.
I can overcome fears of success.
I can do it!

I remembered the iconic morale-boosting “We Can Do It!” poster from World War II with a woman flaunting a bicep on her arm.

The effort paid off. I bounced back, made my money again, and felt better than ever before.

And you can, too.

So I invite you to say: “I can do it. No matter the circumstances. No matter the economy. I can count on me.”

You have gone through ups and downs in your entrepreneurial career.

You’ve seen abundance, and you’ve seen lack.

But what you have is a track record of success.

Over the years, you have risen to the occasion. You’ve stepped forward. You’ve overcome your challenges. You’ve conquered your fears. You’ve done whatever is necessary to move forward.

So take another step today.

What is it for you?

Perhaps you need to change the model of your business and transition to online services.

And if you’re not able to do that, maybe you have to ride the wave and use this time to learn something new.

Ask yourself: “Where efficiencies can technology provide for my services? What are new trends in the market? What innovative ideas can I implement once these uncertain times are over?”

It doesn’t matter if a coronavirus, a tornado, or any natural disaster will strike tomorrow.

What matters is your perseverance.

Your determination to keep going because you can count on you.

You have proven to yourself that you can swim and keep your head above the water.

Now is the time. Start swimming again.

You can do it!

To your success,

Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success

P.S. Need some help figuring out how to move forward? I serve the world through serving entrepreneurs like you though my coaching and mentoring.

I’d be honored to support you to build a business around what you love and what you’re here to do, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.

Sign up for a free Rapid Breakthrough Session with me so we can examine where you want to be in your life and business, what’s in your way to get there, and how to overcome it. I’ll share strategies with you that you can implement immediately so you can embrace wealth, influence and power in your life.

We can do it together!

There’s no doubt that we’re all in an emotional and economic crisis right now. You might not be sick, but you may be trapped in your home, worried about how to move forward in your life, business or career.

Are you feeling stuck?

In times of stress we can let the feelings of overwhelm and fear squash our creativity or we can make lemonade out of lemons. So here’s your recipe:

Now is the time to complete tasks you know are critical to your business but may have been marginalized in the past because of lack of time or focus.

It’s an opportunity to focus on projects you’ve never had a chance to launch.

Create Keep My Momentum Plan.

I call it my “Coronavirus Staycation Plan.”

I’m not taking about binging on the movies or drinking Vodka Quarantinis.

I’m talking about catching up on your accounting, creating new strategies, learning new platforms to reach your prospects, or perhaps honing your marketing skills.

Focus on what you would like to accomplish in the next two weeks, so that when this “vacation” is over you’ve caught up on things in your business that will create a powerful momentum.

What would that be for you?

Perhaps you need to do your taxes, follow up with your prospects, create new digital services, or offer virtual meetings.

Perhaps it’s time to overhaul your website.

Maybe it’s time to look forward and create a 12-month plan on how to pivot in the new social distancing climate so your business is bullet-proof to changes.

Create a powerful motive to keep going.

Imagine what it will feel like when these projects are finally accomplished.

You’ve been putting off these tasks for years. Now is the time to get them started.

The cost of doing nothing is an emotional distress. It keeps nagging in the back of your head causing you to feel guilty and disappointed.

What would it feel like if you caught up on all of your accounting?

You’d probably sleep better.

You would know where you stand financially so you can plan better for moving ahead.

You need to trigger your motivation.

Right now, most people feel demotivated amidst a giant wave of stress.

But YOU can get a lot done in the next two weeks.

Most importantly, while you will work on moving things off your plate, your focus will change.

It will shift away from general despair and concern to clarity and intent.

You’ll activate the creative part of you that can shift your outlook and generate tons of ideas you need to re-structure your business and excel at this time.

By doing something – anything at all – your anxiety will subside, and you’ll get in touch with the intuitive voice within you that will guide you to what needs to be done to thrive.

And as for me… ?

I serve the world through serving entrepreneurs like you though my coaching and mentoring.

I’d be honored to support you to build a business around what you love and what you’re here to do, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.

I can help you step out of fear and struggle and into an abundance mindset.

Sign up for a free Rapid Breakthrough Session with me so we can examine where you want to be in your life and business, what’s in your way to get there, and how to overcome it. I’ll share strategies with you that you can implement immediately so you can embrace wealth, influence and power in your life.

Life change requires decisiveness.

Those who are the most adaptable to change will thrive while others will contract under pressure.

Imagine what it would be like to know that you have – inside of you- everything you need to succeed no matter what’s taking place in your life.

I look forward to supporting you in your journey.

To your success!

Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success

When we’re faced with difficult circumstances and uncertainty, it evokes the feelings of fear.

We tend to fall into a survival mode, which is a natural protective mechanism in our brain that ensures our longevity.

Fear can be good when we use it to our advantage to springboard into something new and beyond our comfort level.

But fear can also paralyze our mind and therefore stop us from finding solutions to our problems.

Much of the fear we experience stems from insecurities about our own well-being.

Our safety is ranked as the second most important need after satisfying our basic physiological necessities in the Maslov’s hierarchy of human needs. It’s not surprising then that any situation that threatens those basic needs will invoke severe alarm.

As Einstein said, the solutions to our problems cannot be found at the level of thinking that created them.

In other words, if we’re in fear of what we perceive as is then we cannot find a way out of the situation that we’re in.

So I’d like to encourage you to step out of fear and detach yourself from general consciousness which is under assault of mass anxiety and concern.

I’m writing this article amidst the outbreak of Coronavirus outbreak which has paralyzed families, societies, and nations around the globe.

As I write these words, many of you – the business owners and entrepreneurs – are worried about the future of your business and whether you can survive under the new circumstances of social distancing practices.

I’d like to open you to a new way of looking at yourself and your business.

One of the biggest attributes of an entrepreneurial mind is its MALLEABILITY – its adaptability to change.

Many people perceive the Darwinism theory as survival of the strongest and the fittest. But the key to the Darwinian evolution is survival of those that are most adaptable to change.

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives.
It is the one that is most adaptable to change.
Charles Darwin

You don’t have to be the strongest, largest or most powerful to continue to thrive but…

You have to be able to adapt to the circumstances that you’re thrown in and create new opportunities to thrive.

As we face the changing dynamic of our society and how business is conducted, we are presented with an opportunity to respond to that force by creating new ways of connecting and offering new solutions that are much needed at this critical time.

Whether your business will thrive or collapse will depend on your ability to adapt to the change which we’re all facing right now.

So my invitation to you today is to INNOVATE.

Consider modifying your business so that it can address the emerging needs within our society.

Ask yourself: “What can I do differently? What out of the box ideas can I implement?”

Perhaps you can transfer your services from an in-person to online interaction.

Maybe you can leverage digital technologies to continue to generate and interact with your prospects.

Most importantly, I invite you to become calm and step out of the fear, which is magnified in our mass consciousness.

Reassess where you are and allow your creative mind to take over.

At this difficult time, meditation and visualization are the keys to your success.

Step into hope and trust that you will be taken care of.

Believe that the entire Universe is conspiring on your behalf to make you successful.

Some people call it optimism, others call it Faith or Grace.

However you see it or perceive it, now is the time to step into your Higher Mind – your higher frequency consciousness – and allow it to guide you forward.

Let your Higher Wisdom provide you with ideas.

Be creative.

Open yourself to that deep intuitive voice, which some of you call a gut feeling, Intuition or Soul, so it can guide you to the next step in your journey.

Let your Higher Self help you find the solutions that will keep you thriving instead of surviving.

We are not declining. We are simply evolving.

This is not the end of times as they were.

This is the beginning of a new era, new mindset, new opportunities, and new innovation.

I wish you much success. There’s so much to be gained by you. Just open the door to the NEW YOU!

May you prosper like never before.

-Dagmar Fleming, Success Catalyst

P.S. Would you like some help with generating new ideas for your business under the Coronavirus circumstances? Sign up for a free Rapid Breakthrough Session with me where we’ll identify what’s in your way and how to overcome it so you can continue to grow your business. Secure yours now at www.dagmarfleming.com.

New year, new you. Are you jumping on your goals?

No matter what they might be, planning for success may seem like an intimidating task.

Fortunately, I’ve got your back.

Here are six crucial steps to pump it up so you can turn your dreams into reality.

Dagmar’s style.

Step 1: Know Where You Are Going by Visualizing Your Goal

What are you passionate about?

Where do you want to end up?

Use visualization to flesh out the details.

What will you feel like once you accomplish your goals?

How will your quality of life change?

Pump up the jam.

While your feet are stompin’ and the jam is pumpin’, pump it up a little more.

Feel your future, sense it, and even taste it in your mouth.

Oh, that sweet taste of success!

 Step 2: Get to Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Arrogant people rarely succeed.

Take time to understand what needs to be worked on to create the infallible you that can achieve anything.

Sometimes it means… outsourcing.

You don’t have to be a superman or a wonder woman all the time.

Can’t stand accounting? Stop fighting yourself.

Admit it – you ain’t gonna do it.

Hire an accountant to do it for you. Then focus on the things that you’re good at.

Easy? You bet.

Who’s the super hero now?!

 Step 3: Take Time Before Taking Action

Most people jump straight into action before they’ve aligned with their goals.

If you’re scratching your head, thinking “What the heck is alignment?,” then the answer is simple.

Are you excited about your goal? Are you thrilled to get it going?

If you’re not, go back to Step 1 and visualize all those juicy sensations from achieving your goal.

Step 4: Set Un-Realistic Goals

“Realistic” is the enemy of dreams.

Don’t listen to your nagging friends who tell you that you’re thinking too big.

Super-size your goals.

Surely, it can be intimidating to go after doubling or tripling your revenue but, trust me, your brain doesn’t care how small or big your goal is.

Get your brain to work for you.

How?

View your goal like a puzzle.

Work on the big picture first (Step 1), then fill in smaller steps.

Put one foot in front of the other towards that big, fat, hairy goal.

One small step each day is all you need to move forward.

Step 5: If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try Again!

 Never give up, no matter how hard it seems at first.

When you were a kid, you were learning how to walk. How many times did you fall?

I bet your bum was pretty sore.

Guess what? You lived.

You even ended up walking in the end.

Need I say more?

Step 6: Celebrate all victories – no matter how small.

No achievement is too small to recognize so get your freak on.

Release “happy hormones” and get addicted to success.

Celebrate your progress.

Get your booty on the floor tonight.

Get the party going on the dance floor.

Make my day!

Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success

There are days when I don’t feel like working. Everything seems like a drag.

There are deadlines to beat, a ton of paperwork to file, and the whole world seems to be breathing down my neck.

Despite my efforts (meager but hopeful), my motivation seems to fall off a cliff.

Sound familiar?

If you think you’re doomed, fret no more.

Check out these really easy steps to get your mojo back and get fired up about what you’re doing:

1. Bribe yourself.

The best way to get yourself motivated with work is to think about that sweet moment when you’ve finished each task on your plate.

Give yourself a prize for getting things done.

What will it be?

One of the top three, i.e. sweets, booze, or sex, usually will work really well, but you can opt for PG 13 and order a take-out dinner instead.

Whatever reward you choose, it’ll surely enlighten your mood.

No matter how boring the task may be, knowing that there’s delightful “enjoyment” waiting for you at the finish line (kinky or not)… it’s safe to say it’ll leave you stimulated to get it done.

2. Scare yourself a bit.

Yes, you read it right.

I’m not talking about out of this world walking-dead apocalypse type of scare.

Think more down-to-earth concerns like money.

Imagine yourself in a tight situation where bills pile up and you can’t pay your mortgage so you have to move in with your in-laws. That’ll get you going with prospecting calls in no time.

Hypothetical or not, a little fright can be a good incentive.

Thinking of the consequences will spring you into action and keep your in-laws at bay.

3. Get stuck.

Have you ever had a dream where you were paralyzed and couldn’t move while doomsday was looming around the corner?

Resurrect that dreadful feeling of being stuck… but this time in your chair.

Imagine your back strapped to the backrest, your butt glued to the seat, and your feet nailed to the floor.

Your only chance to escape is to complete your tasks.

It may sound a bit dramatic and over the top (really?) but try this out.

What have you got to lose?

If you can’t get out, there’s always vinegar or oil to work the glue away.

Get down to it!

– Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success

Most people talk about a glass being half empty or half full. To me, a glass is always full, even if it’s just a drop.

“Why?”, you might ask.

My answer is simple. ”Because that’s the mindset of success.”

How you look at your life determines what you get out of it.

Most people focus on what didn’t get done, what they didn’t get, or what didn’t go the way they wanted it.

If focuses your brain on a perceived failure or lack.

What if you could look at what you have accomplished as being enough? Would that create a positive ripple effect in your life?

I say, “Heck YES!”

Here’s why…

When you celebrate what you’ve achieved, you have a sense of accomplishment and joy which in turn creates a magnetic attraction for more of that to come.

Essentially, you reduce your own resistance to success.

Think about prospecting.

Most people hate following up. They worry about rejection.

What if you set up a goal to call 15 prospects per day and you end up reaching out to only three? Is that a failure?

I say, “NO, it isn’t!”

You successfully called three people. Go ahead and celebrate!

Tell yourself, ”What an amazing day. I’ve just called three people. I LOVE it.”

Give yourself high-five. Jump. Scream. Kiss your dog. Eat chocolate.

Do whatever it takes to make your excitement “juicy.”

Say, “I’m proud for moving forward.”

As you rejoice in your accomplishment, you send a powerful signal to your brain that prospecting is not that bad. You see that you CAN do it.

In turn, your brain starts wondering: “She must really like this prospecting, if she’s made such a big deal of out these three calls.”

“Tomorrow, I’ll let her make four calls. Let’s see how she’s going to flip about that! Maybe, she’ll kiss the neighbor this time. He’s handsome…”

Essentially, you train you brain to LIKE the activity you resisted before and therefore allow yourself to do more of that in the future.

You start associating positive emotions and a sense of success with the activity you resented or struggled with before.

My advice to you is simple.

Give yourself credit for everything you’ve accomplished!

Pay attention to your success and to nothing else.

I don’t care what I didn’t accomplish this year. I only care about what I did.

It doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvement.

The reason I keep improving is because I constantly recognize and applaud myself for everything that I achieved, no matter how small or insignificant as compared to my bigger goals or dreams.

I don’t accelerate, amplify, and move forward in my business by looking at what didn’t get done.

I expand because I’m constantly celebrating, applauding, honoring, and reinforcing what I did get done so I can look with ease and joy into what else is possible for me.

I prime my brain for success.

The glass is always full, even if it’s only one drop.

Tomorrow, there will be another drop, and then I’ll add another.

And before you know it, the glass will be full-full.

Ready to celebrate your drops?

Dagmar Fleming
Founder, Unlock Your Success

I was watching the movie Flatliners and it made me think how much we’re haunted by our past.

In the movie, five medical students induce near-death experiences by stopping their hearts for short periods of time in order to experience afterlife.

The experiment ends up haunting the participants as it brings up to the surface their sins and unresolved experiences from the past.

Those who flatlined themselves end up being traumatized by visions of their past mistakes and emotions of hurt, guilt, shame and sadness.

What saves them in the end is the decision to atone for their mistakes and forgive themselves.

As I watched the movie, it made me think of my two dogs which I lost to cancer 7 years ago.

I held guilt over their passing for many years.

I fought hard to keep them alive, but in the end, I lost the battle.

I wondered for years if there was more I could had done to save them.

Then one day my friend asked me, “Why are you stuck on the pain of their passing? When you do, you dismiss all the years of joy that they gave you. You invalidate 13 years of happiness because of the last 3 months of their lives.”

And so I ask you, “What experiences of your past are you holding on today?”

Maybe you’re thinking you could have done something better.

Maybe you’re feeling guilty because you didn’t accomplish something you set out to achieve.

Perhaps you made an important business or life decision and you’re still facing the consequences of it?

Can you let it go?

Can you trust that those past “mistakes” as you see them shaped you to be the person that you are today.

They made you stronger and wiser.

Can you appreciate who you have become instead of focusing on the pain of that journey?

One of the movie characters Courtney says it best:

“We have to face up to what we’ve done and then forgive ourselves.”

Can you forgive yourself?

Can you let go of what was so that you can embrace what can be?

 Dagmar Fleming
– Success Catalyst

The article originally published on Medium at https://medium.com/@dagmarfleming/dont-let-your-past-dictate-your-future-32b91dc8e79

“I’ve been here since I got here,” said my friend Claire with a grimace of pain.

As she pointed down to her shoes, it was apparent they were killing her feet.

We were at a networking event and she’d been standing there for a while.

But this story is not about a pain that ladies go through due to their fashion choices.

It’s about being stuck.

How often have you found yourself stuck – not just in tight shoes at a function – but in circumstances that have become increasingly painful?

It’s not always apparent that you’ve slowly fallen into an uncomfortable position.

My friend’s feet didn’t hurt right away.

It was a small oppressive force on her toes that caused discomfort over time. She ignored it for the sake of fashion until she could not stand in those shoes anymore.

That’s when I heard her determined voice: “I’m out of here.”

How many times have we found ourselves in situations where we’ve fallen prey to discomfort and yet failed to notice it because it’s been building up little by little?

Have you ever been in destructive relationships with bosses, colleagues or partners who have been dismissive or disrespectful, but you’ve failed to stop it because it didn’t start that way?

You got used to that treatment and accepted it as the norm.

Have you ever had a big dream of expanding your business and getting more clients but you got used to lackluster results and lack of cash flow, and despite disappointment and disillusionment, you told yourself that’s the way it was going to be?

“It’s hard to get new clients,” “It’s too risky to expand my business,” you thought.

You got used to these stories you told yourself and now you inadvertently got stuck with these results.

Gradually, you’ve become comfortable with being uncomfortable and you’ve been here ever since.

It reminded me of a parable of a frog that was placed in a pot of water that was slowly heated up.

Since the change was gradual, the frog didn’t notice that the water was getting increasingly hotter.

It didn’t jump out to save itself.  It perished while getting used to being uncomfortable with the heat.

Ironically, if you put the same frog in the boiling water, its instinct would cause it to jump out right away.

And so in life, we are exposed to uncomfortable circumstances and become complacent.

To our own demise, we don’t face the situation nor take an appropriate action before it’s too late.

That’s when we start sabotaging our own success, like not following up with prospects, not asking for the sale, or undercharging.

We tolerate the pain – just like those shoes – until it becomes intolerable.

When you start noticing that something is not going right in your relationships, when your gut tells you this might not be the right guy for you, or when you feel the employee you want to hire is not exactly who you’re looking for, don’t wait until the pain is unbearable.

Take some action now, even it’s a risk, because it’s riskier to do nothing.

Step out of your routine. Try something new.

Most of all, don’t get stuck in the boiling water.

Jump out now!

You’ve got it. You can do it. You’re smarter than a frog.

Follow in my friend’s steps. Ditch your shoes and get out of here.

-Dagmar Fleming, Success Coach

P.S. Ready to get unstuck and step into your potential? Schedule a free Rapid Breakthrough Session with me. Apply here.